Baby, You Are NOT an Angel

We live in a "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me," world. Can I qualify that statement? What do you think? (You think "no") But, what I can do is address the issue at hand *looks at hand* which is guys calling girls "Angel." Like, "You're an angel, babe," or, "babe, you're an angel," or, in Tatooine, "Angel, babe, you are." 

K. 

First off, calling her "Angel" isn't super original it's sort of just something people do, ya know. Second off, and super more importantly, angels are scary sometimes. No? Well, how bout yes. They are scary, and here is a list of reasons why. 

1. Movie Angels - John Travolta. He doesn't exactly sum up everything wrong with movie angels, but he does a good enough job. Is that what you're referencing when you call your girl an angel? Hm...? A hairy guy with wings? Hope not. Here's some more movies that should steer you towards an alternate pet name:

Legion - plot involves guy from the bad fast and furious movie getting attacked by angels and then saying the F word at one of them. 

Constantine - Keanu Reaves. Scary angels. 

Angels in the Outfield - Italian kid, Danny Glover, motorcycle dads, lots of arm flapping, baseball. Anything in that list remind you of your girl? Shhhhhhhh...... Shush hush. 

It's a Wonderful Life - ..... Except if you're George Bailey and a big old guy talks you down off a bridge. Like, Mary, George's wife, is pretty fine (Dear Lord I apologize for saying things) but everything is black and white and in the snow and it's sad. Favorite line: "Why do we gotta have all these kids anyway?!" I love you, Jimmy Stewart. 

One exception: Meet Joe Black. Brad Pitt. Still probably best not to think about Brad Pitt when you're with your girlfriend or wife tho. 

That's all she wrote. Except it's just me and I'm a man. So, that's all I wrote. 

Peace, love, stay away from strangers. 

-Levi