I recently got married, 15 days ago, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I "married up," as they say, and it isn't just because she's taller than me. Brianne can do all the great things you hear about in the movies. She can cook, remind me not to do dangerous things, pick out the absolute worst movies on Netflix and ask me if I like it a hundred times while we're still watching it. She's gorgeous, and if I catch you staring too long at her I'll tell your mom and her mom and my mom. Brianne is a good at laughing through awkward situations, which is good because they seem to follow me around.
Since we've been married, I get a lot of these type of jokes (these jokes are the funniest jokes the joke teller has ever heard):
"How's married life, that ball and chain draggin you down yet?"
"How's life now that you got two bosses?"
"Do you miss your freedom yet?"
"You do your chores today so you got permission to go out?"
To all of you, joke havers,
From the bottom of my heart,
Shut your dumb stupid mouths.
I rather enjoy being married.
I have significantly improved my situation.
With that in mind, I'd like to address the "happy wife, happy life" belief that so many hold to be as true as the constituthahaha... Ha okay, I'll get it this time... so many hold to be as true as the constiHAHAHA... the constitution.
Anyway, happy wife happy life is pretty dumb. Not because you shouldn't try to make your wife happy, but, firstly, because it qualifies your intentions and paints you as someone who is only acquiescing to her needs to feed your own desires, and secondly, because it implies that the only way for you to be happy depends on your wife.
Your wife is important. She isn't a level of candy crush where you have to line everything up in order to accomplish something. She's also not the gate-keeping boss at the end of a crash bandicoot level who you have to defeat to find happiness. One thing about being married is that you're together a lot. But the thing about being individual humans is that you're not always together. I have Brianne in mind when I'm away, but when I'm talking sports with someone I'm not thinking "boy I'm glad I keep Brianne happy enough that I'm able to do this."
About trying to make her happy, ask questions, be thoughtful, don't be a punk. Don't try to figure out the right thing to say because words don't mean anything if you don't mean any of them. She could be sad and you could say "you're beautiful, I love you, and I will take out the garbage tomorrow," but if you don't take out that dang garbage tomorrow, she might think you're full of crap about the other two. Don't be full of crap.
I don't have an awesome conclusion, because I'm at work so I'm a little bit just rambling at this point. But, I like being married. It's good (that's for you).
-Levi
